This isn't the first time I'm staring at a blank page wondering what to fill it with. Its days like this where you feel utterly useless because you learnt nothing of value. Maybe its just the feeling of a tired body and mind. I find it astonishing how my emotions run. Yesterday, I was feeling good about myself, pleased at what I had achieved and what I know. Today it feels like none of that is important. What makes someone that stands out? Everytime you try to highlight any single one skill, talent, gift, ability that you have, it always doesn't seem to be enough. Maybe you can say, its the collective sum of all these things. The good points & the flaws and the attitude which gives you a unique identity. Like a thumbprint or a snowflake. But all thumbs still look the same and snowflakes is large numbers is just a large expanse of white. So how do you get noticed? I'm still wondering too...

Just read about King Solomon. It shows how sin paves the way for trouble to come in. It causes a gap between us and God. It is shown when Israel began a downward spiral when King Solomon disobeyed. Even in King David's lifetime, there was sin but repentance gave him an escape route. All the way there were warning signs from God, "If you walk in my ways and do what is right, I will be with you."

But it seemed that the desires of the flesh were always the stronger influence. Even King David succumbed. But God still honored him and used him as a benchmark because he sought after God's heart. There will be a time for you to change but if you take if for granted, you're gonna go down that downward spiral and the more you slip, the more you're going to convince yourself that you'll never get out of it.

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Something isn't right here
Do I seem alright to you?
I'll smile your way and put on that front
where everyone believes that its ok.

The rain runs down my face
while I stand here waiting
Watching you make the wrong choices
I can't go the way you did
And I can't do the things you do
Not like that, not with the contempt you do

I just want you back right now...
If you have to lose yourself
lose yourself in me.
If you have to find a way out,
I'll be your escape route
If you need a hiding place
I'll be your refuge
I'll gladly take the beatings for you
I gladly rebel against them

But for all that complexity
The simple truth is that
it doesn't have to be this way
But I don't believe you understand me
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